The Lavender Rhino
Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
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Author: Angela Chen
ISBN (Paperback): 9780807014738
ISBN (Hardcover): 9780807013793
Tags: Asexual, Nonfiction
An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.
What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.
Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don’t want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen’s careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.
—The New York Times
“Ace is a fantastic starting point for dismantling harmful sexual narratives and reimagining human connection as a broader, more equitable, enjoyable and free experience.”
—Washington Post
“The book allows us to imagine how much more we could get from our relationships if we were able to free ourselves from restrictive ideas of what we’re supposed to feel and do.”
—Rhaina Cohen, NPR
“Highly informative and readable.”
—Ms.
“One guarantee: Your mind will be blown by this book.”
—Shondaland
“Chen sets a thoughtful, rigorous, personally generous tone for what will hopefully be an expanding area of study.”
—Electric Literature
“This book isn’t just about asexuality and that’s what makes it such a vital read; it’s about society, and society’s rules and norms and expectations around sex, sexuality, and all forms of relationships. It’s so good and I want every person on earth to read it.”
—Sarah Nielsen, them
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